British writer G.K. Chesterton once said, "A good novel tells us the truth about its protagonists; but a bad one tells us the truth about its authors.”
Sometimes you feel as if you live in a bad novel full of authors or leaders who give a lot to talk about, their bad productions, their novels. Unfortunately, there are many novels or stories that are not fictional but very real and lived daily. In fact, we cannot avoid being part of real-life “novels” in which we disagree with leaders for some reason or another.
If you’re like me, you try to avoid with all your effort the conflict between friends, family, and especially between leaders or superiors. But without anyone inviting them, disagreements and conflicts creep in, looking for a place to dwell, looking for situations where a simple disagreement can turn into a civil war in which blood is plentiful and medicine is needed.
And since we are human beings, sooner or later the moment arrives when avoiding conflicts becomes a time bomb until it explodes.
When we talk, we are very passionate about defending our point of view, and in many cases without taking into account the other party. However, I ask myself, where are the guidelines that indicate that one can proceed calmly? Where is the sign that says they give in? The sign that says stop? Or the sign that allows us to make a U-turn before speaking?
In many dialogues, these signs do not exist and we become victims of the anarchic system, where we do what we want because there are no rules, there is no moral guide that transcends our own guidance. As a result, we caused even more pain for both parties.
When we cause pain through conflict, it is an indication that perhaps we are not functioning well, that we are bleeding. A Band-Aid can resolve the bleeding for a few days or months but the wound continues to bleed in search of someone to come and mend it.
I believe conflicts, bleeding and pain are only mild symptoms that we desperately need a rescuer to rescue us, a coach to guide us and teach us to fight clean, a teacher to teach us to follow the signs, a doctor who works 24 hours a day.
Something I have learned about conflicts is that some are worth facing and others are not. But no matter the situation, each conflict has the potential to refine and restore my character. Ravi Zacharias, explains it this way: "Where there is freedom, there is the possibility of love. Where there is love, there is the possibility of pain. Where there is pain, there is the possibility of a savior. Where there is a savior, there is the possibility of redemption. Where there is redemption, there is the possibility of restoration. "
A good wrestling coach can teach me how to wrestle, but a life coach can teach me to navigate between conflicts and existential disappointments.
When we face injustices of leaders or superiors, in many cases we will be going against the current of egocentrism and its best friend, mediocrity. However, Malcolm Muggeridge reminds us that “We never forget that only dead fish swim with the current.”
Let's fight for something worthwhile, for what has purpose; something that leads us to focus on others. Let's change our "What are we going to win?" for "What are we going to give for the one next to me, for my neighbor.”